Important stuff

Yes, it's the obligatory legal bit

This is the part of the website where we explain some of the things that should be bleedin' obvious to any sensible individual, but some people still complain about. So if your name is Victor Meldrew, or you've been injured in a accident that wasn't your fault, read on...

1. This isn't an official guide to the carnival

This should be obvious, but we have to mention it. We know someone will have a moan if we don't.

If you want an official guide, go visit the carnival organisers.

2. There are errors in this web site

We're human. We make mistakes. So it's obvious that, somewhere in this web site, there will be mistakes. Be sensible. Don't take everything literally, and don't use this web site on it's own without checking out what other web sites have to say - you'll find a list of these on the Links page as well.

If you find an error, please let us know so that we might put it right for other visitors. Just go to the Contact page and send us a message. And no, we won't sell your e-mail address to spammers or make it mandatory for you to provide your inside leg measurement before clicking the "Send" button.

3. We're not judge and jury

Just because we say that something is so, or we believe it to be so, doesn't necessarily mean that it is always that way. Every day the carnival is different, and different people go to the carnival every day. Things change.

If we say that we disagree with something, or that we don't like something, that's our opinion. We express our personal views of the carnival on this web site. You're free to decide whether you agree or disagree. If there is a widely contentious issue at stake, or if you can show that we're just plain wrong, then we'll look at updating the web site. Otherwise, please respect the right to free speech.

4. Genuine e-mail welcome; others not

Flames and hate mail will only be responded to if we consider them to be particularly nasty - in which case we will forward them to ISPs and law enforcement for action. We might also forward them to Usenet newsgroups and message boards where readers like to laugh at that sort of thing.

Don't send spam. We don't read it. We always report it.

By all means, send Spam Fritters. We haven't found a way to receive them by e-mail, but we're sure there must be some folks working on it.

5. You're responsible for your own actions

If you hadn't read this site, you wouldn't have booked that flight to Venice that you missed because the taxi to the airport ran over your costume while trying to avoid next door's dog that ran out into the road to chase the delivery boy who was delivering a birthday present to that wierd woman at no. 26 who smells of cheese, and who only sends you a Christmas card every year because she's still guilty about that incident with the gerbil.

Too bad. If a lawyer tells you it's our fault, you may wish to sue. The lawyer, that is.

6. Legal

Nothing in this document constitutes legal advice. Nothing in this document constitutes financial advice. Terms and conditions apply. All calls will be monitored for quality purposes, ask for a written quotation. Past performance is not necessarily a guide to parking at owner's risk. All offers start tomorrow and end yesterday. No swimming.

:o)

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